Republican lawmakers want to know why President Joe Biden went out of his way to get convicted drug mule Britney Griner released from a Russian gulag but left American hero Paul Whelan behind. Unfortunately, they may never get an official response.

Sources close to the issue, however, confirm that Biden said Ms. Griner was “way more important than Paul Whelan.” Whelan is the ex-marine sitting in custody in Russia still, charged with espionage. According to Biden, Whelan’s dishonorable discharge 30 years ago for stealing negates the calls for him to be treated as a hero. “We don’t know of he was spying for someone or not, but as a spy, he wasn’t even on the table,” said Biden’s closest advisor, Joe Barron.

Apparently, the Griner deal for the low-level arms dealer was enough to sway the Russians, but the US doesn’t have anyone valuable enough to trade for Whelan.

“That doesn’t mean we stop trying,” said Biden, “but what should we have done? Left Ms. Griner in a Russian penal colony in the frozen tundra of Siberia ou7 of spite? Why would we leave any American behind if we can save them? That arms dealer is a dead stick now. He’s famous, and nobody will do business with him.”

Biden seems to think we don’t know that he can do whatever he wants and if he really cared about Whelan he’d pick up a reasonably-priced corpse for the event, call it a spy, and make Putin trade. That’s what Trump would have done.

God bless America.

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