As more and more Americans grow frustrated with the censoring of their thoughts and feelings, they are jumping from the social media super giants over to the small, locally-owned, wholesome app named Parler.
Well, you know it is serious when President-elect Joe Biden is on the defensive.
“It’s a bunch of malarkey, man! That Parler scene is bad news. Is it Twitter? Is it Facebook? What about TikTok and Snapchat? Don’t they count? WHAT IS IT!?!? Nobody really knows!
It’s time to get out of there and get back to mindless scrolling through our Facebook feeds, clicking on the occasional ad for stuff we can put our pets’ faces on! Socks, man. You can put your cat’s face on socks!”
The new social media site is a dream come true for those who don’t want to be bothered with things like “truth” or “reality.” Social norms like “common decency” and “don’t be a complete and utter douche canoe” don’t apply in the far-right echo-chamber, which makes it particularly appealing to the “f*ck yer feelings” snowflakes who are now running fast to their virtual safe space.
Art Tubolls, a 73-year-old retired UPS driver who walked 10 miles uphill both ways in the snow to go to school, but can’t deal with his ungrateful grandkids telling him saying racist things make him a racist on Facebook, is thrilled to have another option. If he can figure out how to use it.
“Well, the print is smaller, and I don’t know what buttons to press, but I saw Mark Levin and all the guys from Fox & Friends moving over to Parler, so I know that’s the place for me.”
Hey Art, it’s time to give up the keys and close up the shop. Turn off the Tandy, hold on to the Jitterbug, and turn on some Matlock! You’ve earned it!
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.
