Joe Biden has instructed FEMA to hire “undocumented workers” to help clean up after Hurricane Helene, according to our sources.
Our sources, who are the same people spreading bullhonkey stories about FEMA blockading roads and directing air traffic, say this time, their stories are true.
“Yeah we made that other stuff up,” said a guy named Felix who asked that we don’t identify him, “But this stuff? This stuff is true.”
Felix and his buddy Craig, who were allegedly in the affected zone yesterday but somehow ended up in Iowa, said they heard from a friend who works at Home Depot that all of the illegals that sit out front waiting for a day job left for the FEMA camp down the street.
“They’re training them to take jobs people in the affected areas need,” said Craig, “And then they’re treating each one to a nice steak dinner just before they hand them the $750 that was supposed to go to locals.”
There you have it, patriots. As if this story weren’t already the dumbest tale ever told, you have illegals stealing jobs from hurricane victims.
For the record, while;e it won’t be FEMA that hires them, the area will definitely become a place undocumented workers will flock to, and if past hurricanes are any indication, they’ll be welcomed there with open arms. God Bless America.