Bud Light Now On Sale for Under $5 a Case

Hey, beer lovers.  Have you heard the latest news?  Now you can get sloshed and save a few pennies at the same time with Bud Light.

That’s right, America’s premiere light malted beverage is now, for a limited time only, on sale at your local Walmart and supermarket for less than five dollars a case.  You heard us.  Less than five dollars for 24 cans of sweet relaxo-juice.

The reason behind the temporary sale is evident.  Some few weeks ago, Bud Light chose a transgender activist, Dylan Mulvaney, to advertise for the drink.  The backlash from America’s contingent of old, frail, incontinent douchetards was real – and devastating.

Branding expert Joe Barron explained the move by Budweiser in a hastily called press conference in front of a Dave & Buster’s store in New York.

“So, as an apology to the fruitcakes who decided to ‘shoot up’ and boycott our beer, we’re basically giving it away now, until mid-May.  We never realized that these dumb bigoted morons like Kid Rock would explode in their panties from it.  The beer hasn’t changed, you dickheads.  Get a grip.”

Barron was then hit in the forehead by an errant foosball and rushed to a local hospital where he is in critical condition.

Bud light is still, regardless of anything else, a shitty beer anyway, and should be avoided in favor of Canada’s own Molson or Labatts.