Biden To Install ‘Fentanyl Detectors’ At Border

President Joe Biden is well aware of the fentanyl problem that’s ripping through America.  He’s also aware that a large amount of the deadly drug is being smuggled across our porous southern border.

Luckily, though, with the use of Wayne Technology’s new “Fentanyl Detectors'”, that all may be a thing of the past.

The Detectors are scheduled to begin installation early next year, possibly by mid-January.  They will be posted at every legal entry point and along the frontier at randomly determined intervals.  But many people are asking: “fentanyl detectors?” How do they work?

For more detail, we turned to tech expert and current Heroin addict Joe Barron.

“In the very chemical makeup of fentanyl is an element known as ‘Potatotanium.’ This element, while not rare, is fairly unusual in that it slowly gives off doses of radiation when near Avon products.  So, what one of these devices does is contain Avon’s Daisy Light shampoo.”

The shampoo is in a clear bottle, and will turn a bright green color upon the presence of the drug.  At that time, an alarm sounds, and the Border Patrol comes sweeping in for the arrest.

“It’s really quite ingenious,” Barron goes on.  “It’s low cost and supports a great American business.”

And that all is something anyone truly American can get behind.  Right?  Well done, President Biden!