In a long-overdue move to hold the real criminals accountable, Arizona Attorney General Joe Barron has officially convened a grand jury to indict Dr. Anthony Fauci on 103,847 counts of murder.

According to extremely credible sources—which may or may not include Facebook comments and one guy on Telegram—Fauci is being charged with mass homicide related to lockdowns, vaccines, and possibly even looking smug on television.

The Case Against Fauci

AG Barron, who was apparently waiting for just the right moment to bring these charges, explained that the numbers were determined using a highly sophisticated investigative technique known as “vibes.”

“This man has been responsible for more deaths than any villain in history,” Barron announced at a press conference held in the parking lot of a Bass Pro Shop. “Every single person who got sick? Fauci. Every person who passed away in a hospital? Fauci. Every time someone sneezed weird? Probably Fauci.”

When asked if these accusations were based on actual evidence, Barron pointed to a giant binder labeled ‘TRUTH’ filled exclusively with printouts of angry Facebook memes and blurry screenshots of Fauci’s emails.

A Grand Jury of Experts

The grand jury has already begun reviewing the case, which will include testimonies from respected medical professionals such as:

  • Art Tubolls, who once read half of a WebMD article on coronaviruses.
  • A guy named Randy, who swears Fauci personally confiscated his ivermectin.
  • Someone’s uncle from Facebook, who has a “hunch” about how this all connects to 5G towers.

To make the process as fair and impartial as possible, AG Barron has banned all medical doctors and scientists from participating, citing concerns that they might be “too biased toward facts.”

What’s Next?

The trial is expected to move shockingly fast, with a conviction practically guaranteed by the end of the month. Legal experts predict Fauci could face life in prison, or at the very least, be sentenced to endless hours of having to listen to Joe Rogan explain “natural immunity.”

Despite the mountain of completely fabricated evidence, some radical leftists have already dismissed the case as “a joke” or “not how the legal system works.” But true patriots know that justice is finally being served.

And if, for some wild, completely unforeseeable reason, the case gets thrown out immediately by an actual court? AG Joe Barron has vowed to take it all the way to the Supreme Court—or at least a YouTube livestream.

God Bless America.