In a shocking revelation that has left absolutely no one surprised, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is facing scrutiny over her family’s alleged 14.5-year “oversight” of depositing her deceased grandmother’s Social Security checks. When pressed for an explanation, AOC reportedly shrugged and said, “We must have just overlooked it.”
That’s right—just a little bookkeeping mix-up. Who among us hasn’t accidentally cashed a $3,400 check every single month for a decade and a half? It’s not like that adds up to over half a million dollars or anything. Oops!
Financial analysts say it’s a totally understandable mistake. “Balancing a budget is hard,” said noted economist Joe Barron. “One minute, you’re paying rent, the next minute, you’re mysteriously benefiting from a government payout meant for someone who no longer exists. It happens.”
The Social Security Administration, ever the vigilant watchdog, somehow missed this for 14 years. Maybe they were busy chasing down those pesky grandmothers who retire to Florida legally. Or perhaps they were too preoccupied sending out sternly worded letters to people who accidentally over-withdraw $12.56 from their benefits. Either way, they definitely couldn’t be expected to notice half a million dollars going to someone who, by all official accounts, had been dead long enough to miss multiple presidencies.
In response to the allegations, AOC assured reporters that her family was innocent of any wrongdoing. “Money is confusing,” she explained. “The concept of wealth, numbers, and capitalism is inherently flawed. How can we be expected to recognize a system built on economic oppression?”
Sources close to the congresswoman say she plans to resolve the situation by demanding more Social Security benefits. “This just proves the system is broken,” said her spokesperson Art Tubolls. “The real issue isn’t that her family cashed checks for a dead relative—it’s that there weren’t more checks to cash. If billionaires paid their fair share, everyone could get free money indefinitely, whether alive or not.”
Meanwhile, a bipartisan group of lawmakers is calling for an official investigation. Republican members argue that this is a blatant case of fraud, while Democrats insist that, at worst, it was an “honest mistake” that should be blamed on climate change, capitalism, or Donald Trump.
For her part, AOC has refused to apologize. Instead, she took to social media to address her critics. “If grandma’s Social Security checks helped even one person afford a soy latte in this broken system, then it was worth it,” she tweeted.
As public outrage grows, the big question remains: will AOC’s family be held accountable? Or will this just be another case of “nothing to see here”?
Either way, one thing is certain—if a Republican had done this, MSNBC would have already run a 12-part documentary narrated by Rachel Maddow.
God Bless America.
