Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett (D-TX) is facing a massive lawsuit after mocking Texas Governor Greg Abbott with her now-infamous “Hot Wheels” comment—because when it comes to Texas politics, the only thing pettier than the insults are the lawsuits.
The Americans with Disabilities advocacy group has filed a $20 million discrimination suit, claiming Crockett’s remarks were offensive, demeaning, and an outright assault on the good name of people who rely on wheels to get around—whether they be wheelchair users, rollerbladers, or people just trying to catch a connecting flight in an airport terminal.
At first, Crockett laughed off the controversy, pointing out that Greg Abbott is a terrible person, but the plaintiffs argue that even terrible people deserve basic human decency—a claim that, in today’s political climate, is highly controversial.
Leading the charge in the lawsuit is attorney Joe Barron, who has made it clear that this case is not about politics, but about justice for the mobility-impaired. “When powerful politicians make jokes at the expense of wheelchair users, it sets a dangerous precedent,” Barron explained. “Today it’s a cruel nickname, tomorrow it’s a ban on spinning rims for motorized chairs—and that’s a slippery slope we just can’t afford.”
Crockett, however, remains unapologetic, telling reporters, “If Greg Abbott can suppress voters, strip women of rights, and leave millions without power in a winter storm, I think he can handle a nickname.” Legal experts say that this argument is technically valid, but not likely to hold up in a court system where people sue for emotional damages if someone looks at them funny.
Meanwhile, conservatives are rallying behind Abbott, demanding harsh consequences for Crockett’s “ableist hate speech.” Art Tubolls, a self-proclaimed “expert on cancel culture”, has already started an online petition demanding that Congress censure her immediately—though it’s unclear if anyone in Congress is actually listening.
And here’s the real kicker: the $20 million lawsuit is being funded by an anonymous donor, whom sources believe to be none other than Greg Abbott himself. Because nothing says “I’m not bothered” like suing someone for the price of a small island.
Whether this case goes anywhere legally is still up in the air. But one thing’s for sure: the only thing funnier than Texas politics is the fact that this is what passes for news these days.
God Bless America.
