Academy of Country Music Cancels Garth Brooks’ Lifetime Achievement Award: “They’d Boo Him Offstage”

It was just a few months ago that Garth Brooks joined Dolly Parton to host the 95th Annual Country Music Awards, the oldest celebration of its kind in the world.

Things have certainly changed. After Brooks called a majority of Americans, particularly those who enjoy country music, “assholes,” the country community jumped into action. A campaign of emails and phone calls to the ACM began, and it didn’t take long for it to work.

“We’re convinced that if we gave Brooks a lifetime achievement award,” said Academy President Joe Barron, “his own peers would boo him offstage.”

Brooks was set to receive the award at next year’s event. “We’re not even sure if he’s gonna be invited,” said Barron.

The trouble began when Brooks backed Bud Light and called anyone who didn’t agree with him an “asshole.” Within hours, the boycott machine that has taken over America spun up and Brooks was on his way to ruin.

“I don’t know what happened,” Brooks told ALLOD correspondent Skip Tetheludah, “One minute I was a country legend with a massive fanbase about to open a fun new bar and all of a sudden I’m like…broke, and nobody likes me. What’s next? Is Spotify gonna drop me? Will I be booed offstage at some huge concert somewhere?”

All of those things are extremely likely, Mr. Brooks. It’s a good thing you’re prepared. God bless America.