San Antonio, Texas is the scene of quiet and measured resistance today as a group of protesters calling themselves : “Joe’s Patriot Front” has effectively closed the tourist attraction and national monument in defense of the incoming President’s legitimacy and in opposition to Republican-led pushback based on what they call : “childish crybaby fever dreams of paranoia.”
In response, Mr. Trump tweeted a series of missives about “nuclear bananas” and “voting machines that counted black gumballs over white jawbreakers.”
The occupying force appeared in the middle of the night, entering the historic mission and setting up camp with large signs and banners proclaiming Biden as the rightful leader of the United States.
Numbering over three dozen, some armed, the determined throng of Democrats and Independents has effectively closed the memorial site for the day as caretakers and other employees find themselves locked out.
The self-professed leader of the group, former Texas Democratic party spokesperson Joe Barron, has previously identified himself with the Soverign Citizens Movement, an offshoot of mostly-Mormon based dimwits who interpret the constitution to mean they don’t have to pay taxes or get driver’s licenses.
Barron released a statement this morning to the San Antonio Queefblower.
“This is public American land, and it represents American losers. General Custer stood his ground here, just like Trump is standing his, even though there is no hope and the day is lost. And you know what? They were massacred in one of history’s greatest embarrassments. For nothing. We will continue to occupy this land as a reminder until Biden is officially sworn in as a winner. Our country supports freedom, choice, and victory. Not whiny little bitchapes like Donald Trump and his pack of human tampon followers.”
This photo shows why nursing homes make the shitty jello flavors on purpose.
Occupiers have set up tent structures and are making use of the facility’s public restrooms and rest areas in an effort to not repeat the infamous Malfour sanctuary event where dildo-enthusiast pretend cowboys performed a similar protest several years earlier.
All tarps have been prohibited from the area and members of the collective are passing out free coffee, key chains, and oil change coupons to onlookers and authorities.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
