Even though a lot of flak and consternation has been bandied about regarding the incredible lack of pandemic-related safety that was on display at the Sturgis motorcycle rally last month, it’s still a fact that less than 500 people have so far been shown to be Covid positive due to the event.  Nevertheless, Little Miss Prissy Pants Pelosi has decided to shut all of the biker gatherings down completely.

With the news of so many bikers staying home, Pornhub has purchased hundreds of new servers. Yes, this photo now represents Pornhub. So let it be done.

Many people, including leader of the “Bitchtitty Twisters” all-female motorcycle club Sandy Batt, believe that such a decree is a violation of the freedom to assemble in the constitution.  However, Pelosi struck back at the accusation on last night’s episode of Mama’s Family – The Next Generation.

“Oh please give me a bunch of trumptards trying to describe anything at all about the constitution.  Let’s hear them.  I’d rather listen to Trump’s wife try to stammer out a cohesive sentence about mascara application.  Here’s the thing.  Trump doesn’t follow any laws, any constitution, or any solid fact-based information.

Neither do his shitbrained followers.  So why should we?  I’m sorry I’m going to have to force a bunch of fat, smelly tricycle turds to save their own lives, but it is what it is.  Tell all the basket case Sons of Arthritis they’re welcome.  Now someone set up Jager shots.  It’s past five O’clock.”

Just as Donald Trump is able to enact pretend legislation with his executive orders, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi can activate a Minority Mega-order, which is actually legally binding.  The Founding fathers had included this power for exactly a sutuation where the elected president might end up being a murderously stupid twat.

Did someone say “twat”?

Will neutering some nationwide groups of despised nine-child-ignoring uncles cause an uproar at every bar with a trough in both the men’s and women’s restrooms?  We may be about to find out.

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