John Fetterman says his party needs to stop protecting Anthony Fauci: “He’s a dangerous man”

Senator John Fetterman (D-PA) broke with Democratic Party leadership Thursday, calling on his colleagues to “stop circling the wagons” around Dr. Anthony Fauci and acknowledge that the former NIAID director represents “a clear and present danger to the American way of life.” The statement, delivered during a podcast interview with a host who describes himself as “just asking questions about molecules,” marks the most significant public defection by a sitting Democratic senator regarding the retired immunologist’s continued influence on public health discourse.

Fetterman, who has increasingly positioned himself as a voice for “common-sense skepticism” within the party, declined to specify which of Fauci’s actions warranted the “dangerous” designation, though sources close to the senator suggest he has grown increasingly concerned about “patterns of behavior” and “the way he looks at data.” Party leaders immediately distanced themselves from Fetterman’s remarks, with one senior aide calling them “unhelpful to our ongoing efforts to appear scientifically literate.”

“This is bravery,” said Joan Berro, a commercial HVAC technician who once installed ventilation in a hospital and now consults on “atmospheric skepticism.” “Fetterman is saying what we’re all thinking. About Fauci. And his… ways. With evidence. I’ve seen ventilation systems. Hundreds. None of them needed peer-reviewed studies. Just airflow. Common sense. The ducts don’t lie. And neither do gut feelings. About viruses.”

The specific danger, according to Reno Borja, a dental hygienist whose patient once read a Facebook post about ivermectin, centers on “excessive empiricism.” “He believes in science,” Benja explained, adjusting his mask. “All the time. With data. And studies. And controls. Very suspicious. I’ve seen science. In dental offices. On the wall. About flossing. Which I ignore. For reasons. The plaque doesn’t lie. And neither does my uncle. Who did his own research. On YouTube.”

Joe Barron, who once successfully treated a cold with whiskey in 2017 and now consults on “medical common sense,” analyzed Fetterman’s concerns. “Fauci,” Barron declared from his booth at a Golden Corral. “With the glasses. And the lab coat. And the ‘studies show.’ Very dangerous. For democracy. I’ve done studies. In my life. About buffet combinations. Which are subjective. Not scientific. The crab legs don’t lie. And neither does personal experience. About immunity. Developed naturally. Through exposure. To sneezes.”

Barron has offered to serve as Fetterman’s health policy advisor, provided the senator allows him to wear his custom “Anti-Science” stethoscope and bring his emotional support ferret, which he claims can detect “dangerous levels of credentialism from the salad bar.”

Fauci called Fetterman’s comments “baffling and unfortunate,” prompting Barron to note that “bafflement is the first stage of suppression,” calculate that the statement was released at 3:33 PM, and observe that “3 plus 3 plus 3 equals 9, which is the number of years Fauci served under Trump without being fired, divided by the number of scientific papers Fetterman has actually read, which is apparently zero.”