Whoopi Goldberg’s Twitter Account Suspended

Do you remember the early days of social media?  Your Twitter account was your own say, a focused blast of your own opinions and views out into the world.  Your Facebook page was a personal blog of your inner mind, and it didn’t matter if it included words like “chuckletits.”

In those days, there was no “Facebook jail”, no sudden disappearance of your tweets, there was only free speech because that’s what the first amendment guaranteed, praise Jesus.

Now it’s all subjective.  But with Elon Musk in charge of Twitter, things are slowly improving.  Former twice-impeached-for-nothing president Donald Trump is back, as well as Ted Nugent and convicted serial killer Joe Barron.  But there still are rules.  As daytime talker Whoopi Goldberg is discovering the hard way.

Just yesterday, the space bartender’s Twitter feed vanished after a brief tirade on Brittney Griner and the events in Russia.  Technological super hero Elon Musk emailed our cleaning staff with an explanation.

“I’m all for free speech, just like the constipitition says.  But I’m also the boss and a human being on earth, and I’m pretty sure that everyone else feels the same as I do when they see this liberal claptrap fly across the ether.  Disgusted.  So, I pushed the button.  Boom, gone.  You’re welcome.”

Goldberg has recently dominated headlines for getting sued and suing Kyle Rittenhouse, losing her job at least seven times on The View, getting fired from her side job on television’s Picard, among other things.  Now it’s apparently all going to be private.