The New York police department yesterday issued a warrant for the arrest of Whoopi Goldberg, based on charges made by several internet celebrities who claim she’s undeniably guilty of crimes against America.
Calls to the police department in Queefs, New York, were answered by an officer Sanders Batt, who refused to give any statement due to the nature of the investigation being ongoing. However, we reached out to “LibrulKickr33” online, who turned out to be Holden Mikehawk, a meat-sander from Buffalo, and one of the complainants.
He emailed us the following statement :
Whoopi Goldberg is a communist and marxist individual who, after careful scrutiny by myself and my YouTube and ConservativeTheories dot com, is massively guilty of a group of hard criminal offenses.
These include darkening her hair in order to appear more black, insurrection against the country with that terrible pussy show she’s on, and treason because that’s what we accuse everyone of. Treason. Put that in your pipe and puff it.
Several other internet personalities joined in on the accusations, including blogger Juan Tobone, dancer Stacy Rect, and former Miss Arkansas and musician Kid Rock.
Unofficial statements thst we’re receiving through the grapevine indicate that the warrant’s arrest may be carried out as early as tomorrow morning at the View studio. Or never. Who knows.
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