Whitmer Bans Trump Rallies in Michigan

As the 2024 Trump campaign heats up, people are chomping at the bit to see the former, and possibly future President, live at one of his infamous rallies.  Campaign assistants Joe Barron and Joe Konders have eagerly been planning and organizing his slate of events.

Except for the state of Michigan.  He’s evidently, no longer welcome there.

Governor of the state, Gretchen Whitmer, has just yesterday passed a bill of “no confidence”, which orders city officials to deny and summarily ban all permits for Republican political “rallies”, citing the 1946 Lee, Lifeson, and Peart act.

The act stemmed from out of the ashes of World War II, meant to stop political brainwashing in live stadiums, a favorite tactic of Adolf Hitler.  Whitmer is evidently comparing the Rust-colored Rapscallion to the greatest war criminal of all time.

Some Michiganders had thoughts.

“Ain’t Trump got nothing in common with Hitler.  Sure, they both fat, got trademarked hairdos, isolationist, prejudiced, saluted by bigots everywhere, and lovelessly married.  But Hitler, he dead.” – Clete Torris, Queeftown.

“Well now I don’t know what to give my Nazi sister for Christmas anymore.” – Amanda Poker, Marshmallow Gardens.

“Banning someone from entering the state has to be against one of those amendments somewhere.  Like the 20th.  Freedom!  Liberty!  Corn nuts!” – Pat Myaz, Blumpkinhole.

I really hope governor Whitmer sees the error of her ways.  Otherwise, there could be yet another terribly childish rinky-dink terrorist kidnapping plot.  And this time, they might have more than 30 dollars to do it.