In a move that has raised eyebrows in both Washington and Pretoria, the South African Department of Home Affairs has officially denied Hunter Biden’s application for permanent residency, citing concerns over his eligibility and background. The decision was announced earlier this week by Minister of Immigration Joe Barron, who emphasized that South Africa has strict standards for foreign applicants seeking long-term residence in the country.
“We have reviewed Mr. Biden’s application thoroughly and have determined that he does not meet the necessary criteria for permanent residency in South Africa,” Minister Barron stated in a press briefing. “While we welcome international applicants, our country cannot be used as a refuge for individuals with questionable financial dealings or political entanglements.”
The rejection comes at a time when Biden has faced increased scrutiny over his business dealings abroad, leading some to speculate that he may have been seeking residency in South Africa to distance himself from ongoing investigations in the United States. Minister Barron, however, did not elaborate on whether Biden’s past controversies played a role in the decision.
There’s Just One Problem…
There’s just one slight issue with all of this—Hunter Biden never actually applied for permanent residency in South Africa.
Sources close to Biden, when reached for comment, seemed genuinely baffled by the announcement, noting that he has never expressed any interest in moving to South Africa, nor has he taken any steps to file an application for residency. One unnamed associate, speaking under the condition of anonymity, asked, “Wait… what? Since when does he want to live in South Africa?”
It remains unclear how or why the South African government came to the conclusion that Biden had applied for residency. Some officials within Home Affairs suspect that the mix-up may have originated from an administrative error, possibly involving a spam email, a poorly translated legal document, or a random prank by an overworked intern. Others believe the confusion might have started when someone Googled “Hunter Biden” and “foreign residency” and just assumed South Africa was involved somehow.
The Fallout and Biden’s “Reaction”
Despite never having applied, Hunter Biden is now reportedly “furious” over the rejection and is allegedly “considering legal action” against the South African government for denying something he never requested in the first place.
“I didn’t want to live there, but now that they said I can’t, I kind of do,” Biden allegedly told close friends. “It’s like when someone tells you that you’re not allowed to join their exclusive club, and you suddenly get really interested in it, even though you never cared before.”
Meanwhile, Minister Joe Barron has stood by his decision, insisting that the rejection remains valid even if Biden never applied. “Whether or not he applied is beside the point,” Barron argued. “What matters is that South Africa is proactively denying his residency before he even thinks about trying.”
At press time, Hunter Biden was reportedly looking into whether he had also been mysteriously rejected by Canada, just to be sure.