England’s Knights of the Round Table date back centuries, to the tales of King Authur and his brave band of hand-selected defenders of the realm. “Knighting” an exceptional hero has become an honored tradition, still in practice today. So far, no woman has ever been afforded the Knighthood – until now.
While it’s true that no woman has been knighted, the name is deceptive. It’s happened plenty of times, and it’s called bestowing “Damehood”, which the royal family has done with Helen Mirren, Judy Dench, and, believe it or not, Twiggy. Goddamn Twiggy. It’s shocking that they didn’t make Prince a Prince. I would have done that day friggin one. Anyway, on with the trumptard diarrhea-inducing festivities.
Grand Vizier of the Royal Court Joe Barron says his Majesty King Charles has enormous admiration for the former Secretary of State, first lady, and technical President Hillary Clinton, citing her great fortitude in dealing with the teabagging crowd of hideously stupid American jackasses that believe she’s some sort of grandmother serial-killer mixed with Darth Vader. The King has made it a point to dub Mrs. Clinton “Ms. Hillary of Oxford”, with all the afforded respect and power that comes with the title.
Clinton will be notified of all royal parties, be assigned a magnificent horse from the royal stables, and be allowed to use the Buckingham Palace private loo, which is so extravagant that Sir Elton John actually lived in it for 13 years.
The ceremony making Hillary Clinton the real-life version of Wonder Woman, except with an annoying laugh and a planet full of people begging her not to wear a similar costume, will take place two months from now in the King’s Courtroom of the Royal palace. The courtroom itself is actually named after Billy Jean King, the subject of Prince Charles’s favorite Micheal Jackson song.
Hello. I am Joe Biden. Let the dueling commence, because I know that Trump is an insta-win which would be cheating. Also, I have been testing it out with dummy’s and it has been working great! Be prepared.