The Federal Communications Commission was recently overwhelmed with complaints. Just after the Superbowl, they streamed in from across the country, all pertaining to one thing : Pop artist Rihanna’s performance during the halftime show.
Her show was fairly innocuous, consisting of the singer perched on various suspended platforms, doing a medley of her greatest hits, surrounded by dancers and backup singers. It wasn’t the worst Superbowl by a mile, and neither was it the best. It was just eh.
Nevertheless, making numerous crotch-grabs during her, some say, Satanic gyrations, encouraged quite a few older, conservative living mothballs to pick up their jitterbugs and call, believing their immortal souls had just suffered a raping.
One of those people, Sandra Batt, a radioactive isotope taste-tester from Queefsdale, Alabama, told us all about it.
“It was absolutely disgusting what that Satanic display was about. She was bandied about like some two-bit whore being dangled on a string in front of a horny male audience of animals. Hideous.”
Several dozen of the complaints were exactly like this, claim the FCC, and they have exercised their right to have her muzzled while they continue to inspect the performance.
There is also an accompanying charge of awful lip-synching during the entire event. It’s like she didn’t even care. Disgustipating.
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