It’s been a very sad way to begin the year 2023. There have been far too many celebrity deaths already, even before the halfway mark of the month, and the funerals are becoming legion.
The latest in the string of famous departures was unfortunately, Lisa Marie Presley, the only child of Elvis and Priscilla, and the heir to Graceland and the Presley fortune. She was also an accomplished musician and actress, playing roles in “Loving Neverland” and a bunch of miscellaneous shit about Elvis.
Luminaries invited by family to her funeral include President Joe Biden and his wife, Keanu Reeves, rap producer J. Barron Peace, and talk show host Whoopi Goldberg. Wait. Strike that. According to the woman herself on The View, she was NOT invited.
“For some reason or another, even though I was a very good friend of Lisa Marie Presley, the powers that be saw fit not to invite me to her funeral. So much for the eulogy I had ready with all the slut jokes and musical portion.”
Who decided on the list of invitees? According to funeral home director Ben Ferryman, it was Missy Southard, Presley’s old volleyball coach.
“Yeah, she specifically said she didn’t want Goldberg anywhere near the proceedings. I fear they don’t get along. Shame.”
Many say the steam comes from an incident where Goldberg “borrowed” a “Sak” purse from Southard and didn’t return it for years. When it was finally given back, it was full of peanut butter.
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