Television ratings are a battle that has seen a plethora of mighty ships destroyed. “Due South”, “Charlie Grace”, and “High Incident” were all quality programs that, nonetheless, couldn’t make the grade against timeslot powerhouse “Friends.”
This week, another submarine is sunk, thanks to the ratings superiority of ABC’s top torpedo launcher The View. Fox is cancelling it’s perennially low-watched and less respected feature “Outnumbered” for the foreseeable future.
Harris Falkner and company have already known the news for weeks, with Kayleigh MacEnany and company being shifted to parallel programs. MacEnany will be made co-host on Greg Gutfeld’s show “Unfunny Comedian”, while Falkner is pondering retiring to her 250-acre mung bean farm in western Idaho.
Showrunner of Outnumbered, Joe Barron, says that Whoopi Goldberg’s popularity and grace were just too much for the political talker.
“That woman, she’s a magnet for controversy, which is something Fox News has worn out. We’ll talk sideways about ‘the vaccines killing people’, which we realize is nonsense, and we’ll gin up a fake ‘controversy’ about Biden’s secure documents. It’s just not working. Not when Whoopi can go on about reality.”
“Basically,” Barron added, “It’s reality that’s killed us.”
While The View has fallen in the ratings field lately, Outnumbered has failed to keep it’s promise of attractive women in short skirts all blathering on a couch for an hour like the world’s worst slumber party.
“They wanted me to start wearing a bra and panties when we started talking about Hunter’s laptop,” says Emily Compagno, a former host. “All that’ll do is show my stretch marks and heroin scars.”
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