Musk in Talks to Buy Hunter’s Laptop

Elon Musk is a modern-day hero.  Fighting for the bastions of free speech and dignity and equality for all, he’s absolutely in no way the greedy half-assed bumbling skunk bumpkin the left wing media has made him out to be.

Plumbing the depths of Twitter’s secret files and having them exposed for all to see has opened a new mountain of eyes and brains.  That sentence was the absolute worst I’ve ever written.

We know Twitter blacklisted Rudy Guliani’s childish tale of finding Hunter Biden’s laptop computer at a computer repair shop, with a name label and everything right on it.  Not to mention that if Hunter is as rich as the media would have you believe, he would have just thrown out a defective device and bought another.

But back to reality – Elon has entered negotiations with the FBI to purchase the controversial Atari 800-XL to see for himself and expose the corruption that we all know is on it.

His first offer of twenty billion dollars, 3 bloogies, a signed Joe Barron rookie card from the 1979 Yankees, and a new Tesla that runs on farts is reportedly being mulled over by leading investigative sources.  A deal like that comes along once in a lifetime.

Will the feds cave to the entrepreneur’s generous offer?  We’ll have to keep following the story to know.  Keep it right here on America’s Last Line of Defense.