The latest in a series of stories about the newest American heroic gesture, a non-woke movie studio being set up by Clint Eastwood and others, is one of great faith and amazing generosity.

Basketball’s own legend Micheal Jordan has dropped a hundred million dollar “angel” investment on the film factory, further cementing it’s upcoming releases and setting it up to compete with every other Hollywood studio in town.

Jordan was jubilant after the announcement, and told Trish Blake of conservative news outlet ShitInfo dot com that his contribution was merely “setting the record straight for people who just want normal un-woke entertainment.”

“Sometimes you just want to watch an action movie or a romance or a comedy without all those filters of appropriateness,” he continued, chomping through a bag of Funyuns.  “If I can help that happen with a little bit of my extra cocaine cash, you know, why not?”

Eastwood’s newest investment, tentatively titled “MMGA Films”, or “Making Movies Great Again”, is now set to premiere it’s first venture, the highly anticipated epic “SpiritBusters”, which deals with four priests who bust  and capture “spirits” in New York with God’s power.

With talent like Keanu Reeves, Matt Damon, and Reba McEntire on hand for these features, it sounds like the studio has nowhere to go but up.

“The money is going to come back to me in miraculous ways, I can feel it,” Jordan grins from his buttermilk and tequila filled hot tub.

“And it’s all thanks to Bronco Billy.”

294 Comments

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