Earlier this year, John Elway promised that he’d fire any player caught kneeling during the national anthem on the spot. Several of his players decided they’d test those waters.
Three players were fired not for kneeling, but for merely suggesting to their social media fans that they’d kneel. According to team spokesman, Art Tubolls, the decision was easy for Elway:
“Mr. Elway has always been very firm about the rules of his team. Even though this one seems like a bit much to reasonable people, he believes in it, so his players must as well.
“The three fired players have been blacklisted and will join Kaepernick and yeti coolers on the official team boycott list.”
We reached out to several Yeti coolers but none of them are brave enough to respond.
Elway, who rose to stardom on the backs of players much better than him, finished his career strong, paying off several referees and taking home two Lombardi trophies. Since then, “Old Pigeon Toes” has been working the front office, signing such notable players as a washed-up Peyton Manning and that big goof he took from the Texans that one year who turned out to be about as effective as a Brett Favre interception.
Team owner, Alexander Soros, said he disagrees with the decision and isn’t looking forward to the angry emails from Uncle George. The fans should be delighted, since now they won’t have to boo the players they pretend to love for three hours a week.
The league says Elway is well within his rights to fire whomever he wants, but noted that they won’t be sending him a holiday card this year. Pete Rozelle said the move shows bigotry and poor judgment, and rolled over in his grave several times.
We’ll keep you updating on this developing story.
