Two of Hollywood’s most successful and epic comedians are joining forces for a hilarious stand-up tour this year, and you’ll be left in the dark if you aren’t excited enough to break out your piggy bank and your old Nissan Versa.

Jerry Seinfeld, of the hit series “Seinfeld” and “Comedians In Cars Getting Stoned” is hitting the road with Tim Allen of “Home Improvement”, “Galaxy Trek”, and “The Santa Cockers” to bring their unique brands of humor to America, live.

The genesis of the tour comes from a single fan suggestion, Joe Barron of Peedrinking Creek, Tennessee, who wrote a long and convoluted post on Facebook this January.

“I think it would be awesome for you two to tour across America while battling chemtrail shooting liberals and freeing kids from evil pizza parlors,” he wrote, somehow in crayon on the internet.  “That would rock.”

Seinfeld took notice and called his friend Tim up, pretending to be a cocaine mule to get his attention.  Allen agreed to the combo after pooping out a few bricks.

Allen, for his part, says he’s been working on new material for the past two years, involving lots of non-woke content like tools, men grunting, and falling down slapstickily.

“It’s going to be wild,” Jerry told reporters gathered at his nearby Dave and Buster’s.  “Tim and I are like peanut butter and sand.  I mean, what is up with that?”

The tour will begin in June at the Itchy Kitty Whorehouse in Nevada, and stretch across the country from there.  Don’t miss it!

 

65 Comments

  1. Şişli elektrik arıza giderme Şişli’de 7/24 elektrikçi hizmeti, elektrik sorunlarının acil durumlarında müşterilere kesintisiz bir hizmet sunar. Profesyonel ekipler, günün her saati müdahale ederek elektrik sorunlarını hızlıca çözerler ve kesintisiz enerji sağlarlar. Müşterilerin elektrik ihtiyaçlarını karşılamak için her zaman hazır bir şekilde hizmet verirler. http://www.funnyjoker.top/?p=599

  2. Bwer Pipes: Empowering Iraqi Farmers with Reliable Irrigation Solutions: Join the countless farmers across Iraq who trust Bwer Pipes for their irrigation needs. Our state-of-the-art sprinkler systems and durable pipes ensure efficient water distribution, helping you achieve maximum crop yields while conserving water resources. Visit Bwer Pipes

    • Pipe smoker or KirCock sucker ?

      You seem like a pipe smoker Bro – one could say you’re a kirkuk sucker ?

  3. Kavien Fernandez rotelli - just another shit for brains retard

    Kavien Fernandez rotelli – just another shit for brains retard

  4. Roony Medeiros - just another shit for brains retard

    Roony Medeiros – just another shit for brains retard

  5. Valesha Monesteerolo - just another shit for brains retard

    Valesha Monesteerolo – just another shit for brains retard

  6. Azilynn Schelcher - just another shit for brains retard

    Azilynn Schelcher – just another shit for brains retard

  7. Extended Opportunity - just another shit for brains retard

    Extended Opportunity – just another shit for brains retard

  8. Somebody essentially help to make significantly articles Id state This is the first time I frequented your web page and up to now I surprised with the research you made to make this actual post incredible Fantastic job

  9. Charmel Burdis - brain of Turdis

    Charmel Burdis – brain of Turdis

  10. Camacho Galezowski - shit for Brainsski

    Camacho Galezowski – shit for Brainsski

  11. Anacani Stilp - just another shit for brains retard

    Anacani Stilp – just another shit for brains retard

  12. Genesiss issss a massssive fucking assssshole

    Genesiss issss a massssive fucking assssshole

  13. Annaluiza Herried - I'm up for anal !!!

    Annaluiza Herried – I’m up for anal !!!

    • Annaluiza may be - but Avatar's feckle is CLOSED Bro !!

      Fuck me – even the avatar looks nervous Fallis … kudos !

  14. bq2x9s - only unknown users with no fucking brains and minicule genitalia buy this shit Bro. Or Republicans ( is that a tautology ? )

    Send a transfer from known user ( of hookers, porn stars and the odd compliant rodent ) Trumpy’s stretched Anus to your face – use both hands and your tiny little pecker

  15. Minuscule Pedant

    s missing.

    Not that you fucktards can spell … but somebody’s gotta maintain standards here right Fallis ?

  16. Jordai Von rudt - rooted his Momma. Explains his retardness ?

    Jordai Von rudt – rooted his Momma. Explains his retardness ?

  17. Pryce Nordli - seriously dude ... if that's your fucking name hang your head in shame.

    Pryce Nordli – seriously dude … if that’s your fucking name hang your head in shame.

  18. Lieba Ogin - just like Trumpy's anus - leave it open

    Lieba Ogin – just like Trumpy’s anus – leave it open

  19. Marinella Loriente - I've got the world's biggest Hoo Haa

    Marinella Loriente – I’ve got the world’s biggest Hoo Haa

  20. Alexana Snowe gave Loey a Blowy and Naymon's a gay mon so she just bummed him with a javelin. Painful - but not as bad as these three fucktards Bro

    Alexana Snowe gave Loey a Blowy but Naymon’s a gay mon so she just bummed him with a javelin. Painful – but not as bad as these three fucktards Bro

  21. I'm a pOET bUTT diDn'T kNowIT ... but i'd still Let SnowE BloWit

    I’m a pOET bUTT diDn’T kNowIT … but i’d still Let SnowE BloWit

  22. Don

    Wow! Did I find some limerick writers! I have a site for great limericks! It’s goatse.me!

  23. More prose - fuck knows Bros

    There was an old guy from New York
    with a porn star he wanted to pork

    When she finished blowin
    he got onto Cohen

    Then she refused to talk.

    He decided to run for election
    so she started to mention erection

    He couldn’t fire her
    so he got the enquirer
    to pay 130k for a cork

    She turned out to be quite a wrecker
    and so did some fuckwit called Pecker
    with the GOP in the bag
    and a judge ordered gag
    it looked like the dotard would walk.

    But then when he took to the stand
    and lying was obviously banned
    he spilled his guts on all the sluts
    he’d banged throughout the land

    The jury thought long and hard
    do we jail the orange dotard
    he says a witch hunt
    but he’s really a cunt
    So let him be feathered and tarred.

    And that my friend is the true gaping anus story – not goatse.cx !!

  24. Rufus Teto - blew Trumpy then got arse fucked by Stormy with a ginormus strap on

    Rufus Teto – blew Trumpy then got arse fucked by Stormy with a ginormus strap on

  25. Stormy

    No way I’d arse fuck Rufus Teto – if there’s anything between his ears then I’m DJ Trump.

    • Fuck you're persistent Bitcoin Fucktard

      Fuck you’re persistent Bitcoin Fucktard

  26. Tripper Mbarki - sounds like my dog on drugs...so like that dopey bitch frightbat Noem - I shot the mother fucker !!

    Tripper Mbarki – sounds like my dog on drugs…so like that dopey bitch frightbat Noem – I shot the mother fucker !!

  27. Kristi Noem

    Who let the dogs out ?

    Hold my Oxy – I’m fucking reloading …

  28. It was impossible for me to leave your website without expressing my gratitude for the excellent knowledge you give your visitors. Without a doubt, I’ll be checking back frequently to see what updates you’ve made.

    • Fallis Gunnington

      Without a doubt I’m completely out of fucks to give, but I’ll tell my mate Flagg as he’s fresh back in the saddle.

      Giddy up…

  29. Rajinder Szczucki - do these fucktards ever stop ?!

    Rajinder Szczucki – do these fucktards ever stop ?!

  30. TOOT TOOT - FUCKTARD ALERT !!!

    TOOT TOOT – FUCKTARD ALERT !!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *