In a surprising decision, the Irish Department of Justice has denied actress and comedian Rosie O’Donnell’s application for residency, citing unspecified concerns related to her eligibility. O’Donnell, who has long expressed admiration for her Irish heritage and the country’s cultural history, had reportedly sought to establish a permanent home in Ireland as part of a personal and artistic retreat.
According to sources within the Irish Naturalization and Immigration Service (INIS), O’Donnell’s application was reviewed under standard residency criteria, which include proof of ancestry, financial stability, and a demonstrated connection to Irish culture. Despite her strong public support for Irish causes and frequent trips to the country, officials ultimately determined that she did not meet the necessary qualifications for permanent residence.
“While we appreciate Ms. O’Donnell’s enthusiasm for Ireland, our review found that her application lacked the necessary documentation to establish a formal claim to residency,” said immigration spokesperson Joe Barron. “We wish her the best in her future travels.”
And Then It Got Weird
O’Donnell, who has often described herself as “proudly Irish”, was understandably confused by the rejection—until an independent genealogist uncovered a shocking truth: her ancestors weren’t actually Irish at all. They were Welsh.
Yes, instead of hailing from the Emerald Isle, the O’Donnell family tree appears to firmly root itself in Wales, meaning Rosie has about as much claim to Irish heritage as a leprechaun from a breakfast cereal commercial. Records indicate that her great-great-grandfather Emrys O’Donnellapwynn, a blacksmith from Cardiff, moved to Liverpool in the 1800s, where the family began conveniently referring to themselves as Irish to avoid explaining Welsh pronunciation to confused Englishmen.
When informed of this unfortunate twist, Irish officials politely suggested that Rosie reapply for residency in Wales instead, a move that was met with immediate rejection from the Welsh government.
“I’m sorry, but we already have Tom Jones, and quite frankly, that’s enough for us,” said a spokesperson for the Welsh Minister of Immigration.
The Fallout
O’Donnell, determined not to let an inconvenient thing like historical accuracy get in the way of her Irish dreams, has since vowed to “fight this injustice” by launching a one-woman protest outside the Guinness Brewery until Ireland reverses its decision.
Meanwhile, the Irish government has preemptively declared a national holiday in celebration of its narrow escape, with citizens reportedly relieved that the residency denial has spared them from the possibility of O’Donnell spontaneously hosting a political debate in the middle of a Dublin pub.
As of now, O’Donnell has not publicly commented on the genealogical revelation, though sources claim she was last seen trying to figure out if Scotland might be more lenient with its residency policies.
Stay tuned, because at this rate, she might end up trying to move to Greenland.