Keith Richards Vows to Outlive Trumps, ‘Dance on their Graves’

The longstanding feud between the Rolling Stone’s Keith Richards and now-President Donald Trump shows no signs of abating. In 1989 Richards famously pulled out a knife and stuck it into a table stating “you have to get rid of this man,” referring to Donald Trump.

It all began when the Rolling Stones agreed to a pay per view concert, to be broadcast at Trump’s now bankrupt Atlantic City casino. A condition of the concert was that Trump himself would not be attending, an agreement that Trump ultimately reneged on.

More recently Richards has been even more forceful. In 2015 he told Rolling Stone Magazine that President Trump would be America’s worst nightmare, and in 2018 he said that now that America had elected Trump president, it was even more imperative that Americans get rid of him. And now Richards has a new message for not just President Trump, but his entire family.

“I will outlive the entire Trump family and dance on their f*cking graves. Senior, Junior, that bloody idiot Eric, all of them sodding bastards.” he told Rolling Stone magazine during a recent interview, later adding “MAGA my arse. Them lot wouldn’t know what a great country is if someone wrapped one around a broomstick and stuck it up their backsides.”

Asked for commentary, Trump spokeswoman Sandy Batt seemed amused:

“Quite honestly, I think he’s fallen out of one too many coconut trees. Here we have a drug and alcohol addled aging British rock star who once called himself a “human chemical laboratory” telling the greatest president in history of the greatest country on the planet to not only stick a broomstick up his bum, but also vowing to outlive his entire family. While Mr. Richards may well be around to witness the next Big Bang, you can rest assured that the Secret Service would never allow him to dance on the grave of any of the Trump family.”

So did Keith Richards really say that? Of course, he didn’t. This story is completely made up, as is any other story was written by yours truly. This is a satire site for taters, after all. However, we have a sneaking suspicion that just maybe Keith would approve of it. And perhaps even get a chuckle or two out of it. Here’s to you, Keith. May you outlive us all.