Should the results of the election hold and the democrats successfully steal the White House, Joe Biden will be called upon to quickly fill his cabinet positions. Perhaps the most coveted of cabinet appointments is that of Secretary of State.
The Secretary of State is the head of the United States Department of State and is mainly tasked with supervising the United State’s foreign service and immigration policy. Used in a sentence, “Secretary of State Hillary Clinton allowed Americans to get murdered in Benghazi.”
Pundits have been chiming in, and here’s a countdown of our top 5 candidates for Biden’s Secretary of State.
5. Colin Kaepernick – This is an easy call. He is looking for a job and his empathy for fascism is perfectly in line with Biden’s views. His Nike sponsorship would also bring a perk to the appointment that no other candidate can offer. His influence in third world countries, where his jerseys are basically given away, is immeasurable.
4. Jerry Falwell Jr. – He’s used to being third in charge, so Secretary of State is a seemingly natural fit. It would also be a groundbreaking appointment for Biden seeing as how no open cuckold has ever held a cabinet appointment. Sexual deviancy will definitely be a theme of Biden’s administration and Falwell JR. fits the bill perfectly.
3. Chelsea Clinton – Benghazi’s own Lady in Waiting. She is well versed in cleaning up her family’s messes, a talent that will surely be required with the Biden administration. Every corrupt administration needs a cleaner. Chelsea would, in essence, be the Winston Wolfe to Biden’s Marsellus Wallace.
2. El Chapo – A master of foreign affairs, El Chapo also possesses an intricate knowledge of the American immigration system. His well-established relationships with several heads of state make him a more than viable candidate.
1. Téa Leoni – She played one on TV.