Harley Davidson Announces New All-Electric Vehicles

Remember the days when you’d get on your good old Harley, rev up the engine, and just plow down the street like a majestic hawk chasing a rat?  Well, from the latest news announcement, it sounds like those days are over.  At least the Harley part.

America’s most well-known, built, and ridden motorcycle company has evidently gone “woke” by announcing yesterday that nearly two-thirds of next year’s line will be made all electric, and future plans reveal they’re all-in for many more.

“By 2025,” says Harley Davidson spokesperson Joe Barron, “Nearly all of our motorcycles will be environmentally friendly and running on electricity, we hope.  It’s the wave of the future.  And one thing that Harleys have is a bright future.”

With sales slipping some 30% or so over the last few years, not everybody agrees with the new vapor-expelling hogs.  Angry Harley Davidson dealer Lewis Colon, for one.

“These bikes are for gays and women and little wimpy f*cksticks who think they’re gay women.  Nobody wants an electric motorcycle.  That’s like buying a dead cat.  I don’t know why, but it is.  You can f*cking quote me on that.”

Nevertheless, it seems the great American institution has already made up its mind and will produce thousands of the new “ZapMachine 100x” by the end of the year.  Get ready to get your motor runnin’, and head out on the highway.

Just, you know, under 50 or so.  And without all the noise.