Greta : “Cold Weather Because of Stupid Americans”

Are you ready for Winter Storm Elliott?  The blast of frozen ice, snow, and rain is right now, barrelling across the country, leaving millions shaking in it’s wake.

And according to a 17-year old environmental prodigy, it’s all completely our fault.

That’s right, Rainwoman Greta Thunberg is in the news again, with her “the sky is falling!” weather opinions.  She’s been on the road with current role model Al Gore for more than a year now, spreading the word about the terrible future set to engulf the earth if we don’t pay more attention to global climate change.

Just yesterday, at the annual Global Climate Summit and Laser Tag Conference in Oslo, Sweden, our cub reporter Joe Barron has audio where she directly implicates the land of the free in that assessment.

“The stupid Americans were actually dumb enough to hire the Apprentice man for their President.  He took them out of climate change deals and could not give two f*cks what happens.  Now they get weather they deserve!”

Greta’s condemnation of former disgraced President Donald Trump notwithstanding, she certainly speaks her mind. It’s, in a way, a refreshing change from the usual.

Winter Storm Elliott is, evidently, brought to you by the letters U, S, and A.