In a bold move to prioritize American manufacturing, General Motors has officially announced that it will cut ties with Canadian parts suppliers in favor of U.S.-made components. The decision, according to GM executives, is meant to support domestic production, create American jobs, and reduce reliance on foreign-made auto parts.

“This is about bringing jobs back to the U.S.,” said GM spokesperson Joe Barron, standing in front of a large American flag for added effect. “For too long, we’ve depended on our neighbors to the north, and it’s time we show the world that America can build its own cars, with its own parts, with its own workers.”

A Patriotic Business Decision

The shift comes as part of a broader push for economic nationalism, aligning with policies that encourage companies to keep their supply chains within U.S. borders. GM executives insist that this move will strengthen American industry and prevent “foreign interference” in the auto sector.

“Why should we be buying parts from Canada when we can get them right here in the U.S.?” asked GM procurement chief Art Tubolls, before admitting that most U.S.-based auto part manufacturers closed decades ago because companies like GM outsourced their supply chains in the first place.

The Only Minor Issue…

While GM’s new “Buy American” policy sounds great on paper, it does present one small challenge—there aren’t actually many American parts-makers left.

According to industry analysts, nearly 80% of the essential components GM needs still have to come from overseas, as domestic suppliers either no longer exist or only manufacture cupholders and floor mats.

“Oh yeah, we totally support this initiative,” said one U.S.-based auto parts manufacturer, whose company specializes in making novelty truck nuts and ‘Thin Blue Line’ bumper stickers. “It’s time to bring back real American industry. As soon as we figure out how to manufacture transmissions and brake calipers again, we’re good to go.”

Until then, GM remains committed to the plan, even if it means delaying production while executives scramble to figure out how to build cars without essential parts.

God Bless America.