Musk & Rittenhouse Opening Franchise Firearm Stores

1. What’s more star-spangled American than guns?  As I’m sure that everyone’s aware, the second amendment to the constitution allows all of us, men, women, and children, to own, organize, and maintain firearms for our own personal protection, uninfringed.

Well now, Elon Musk, the Idea Man of the Century, just had a brand new one : franchise the good old fashioned American gun shop, just like McDonald’s or Bennigans or Photomat so that any pistol packing honest patriot can jump right in and realize their dream.

Emperor Elon’s not going it alone this time, though.  By his side is Kyle Rittenhouse, the famous American patriot and hero.  Making some use of all of his lawsuit money, the young pedo-blaster is all the way in for the duration.  Fox News’ Sandy Batt has the story.

“Kyle is using his Whoopi Goldberg and Joe Biden money for this venture, through his investment financier Airman Brian Kolfage, who also worked with the private ‘Build the Wall’ fund.  He’s in charge of the money, so that should work out very well.”

Kolfage was contacted for this article, but was apparently at the boat dealership’s for the main part of the day.

The stores, at this time, tentatively titled KILL EM REAL GOOD are scheduled to begin opening next year in Chicago, New York, and Ocala Florida.