Pelosi to Appear on ‘Dancing With the Stars’

If you’ve ever wondered what Nancy Pelosi’s plans were after her retirement from the Speakership, the time has come to stop wondering.

The latest incarnation of the massive reality show hit entertainment program, ABC/Disney’s “Dancing With the Stars” has signed Nancy up for their next tap show studded season.  Pelosi has made history with her appearance as the oldest contestant ever to be featured.

The mamba-ing grandmamma has been assigned six-time Tony finalist and former clam factory owner Joe Barron as her dance partner, and he says the lawmaking lotharia is very light in her loafers.

“Nancy is a pleasure and an amazingly quick learner.  We’ve already got our first couple of routines down pat, including a never before seen move called the ‘Jim Jordan Hustle’, where you’ll see me completely ignore her as she’s faux-sexually attacked by another dancer.  It’s awesome.”

Pelosi, the 82-year old Baltimore resident, was born into a dancing family, and her son is allegedly married to first daughter Chelsea Clinton.  Her after-politics life seems to be looking brighter than ever.

The big question is “Will Donald Trump accept the invitation that he’s been sent?” The former speaker had an answer for that query.

“Of course not.  He’s got plenty of trading card NFT grifting to do, and he’s way too fat.  It would be like watching a sperm whale gyrate in a jello pool.”