Bud Light competitor Ultra Right Rakes In Millions

Conservative Dad’s Ultra Right Beer, which was inspired by Bud Light going woke after their massive ad campaign with trans woman Dylan Mulvaney has made quite the debut.

The brand new beer, which was crafted immediately after the Bud Light backlash, has outsold Bud Light by MILLIONS of cases. We’re taking 25 million cases. That’s right. Ultra Right Beer is a massive hit.

Even Bud Light executives are surprised by the massive success of the new venture. It’s creator, Conservative Dad, isn’t. He knew. “

This was bound to be a success. We conservative American patriots don’t want woke beer. We know what bathroom to use. We know what a woman is. And we want good, straight, American beer.”

Conservative Dad’s Ultra Right beer is what good Christian patriots are flocking to.  Brewed right here in the good old USA, it’s 4% alcohol. And in a good old American sixer, which is the only way you can get it, that means just a little over a gallon of water with a touch of alcohol.  But not to worry. You’ll still know what bathroom to use because even after 12 of these, you won’t even be buzzed.

And not being buzzed after 12 beers is a good thing. That means no hillbillies getting drunk and screaming racist rants from the pick up they can barely afford and no drunken fights with sister cousin wife Betsy Sue at the good old trailer park on the edge of town next to the garbage dump. This is a wonderful idea. The really bad and stupid ideas will be still be there, but at least it’ll be sober. Because at 4% alcohol, it’s gonna take a lot of this swill to make you feel anything except for shame after spending $35 a six pack.

“Mama ain’t thrilled with me using her Walmart money to buy Ultra Right”, Joe Barron said. They’re on a tight budget because his job at the garbage dump next to the trailer park doesn’t pay nearly enough to cover the rent and the 6 kids neither of them want. Billie Sue BobbieJo, mother to at least 2 of his kids asked why he can’t just drink Bud Light seeing as he’s not man enough anyway. Ahhh, life and times of the people offended by everything except for their very own existence.  God bless America.