Entire Town in Texas Speaks No English

Deep down south, where the ranches move cattle and the rain comes perhaps twice a month as a blessing, there sits a small town in southwestern Texas where English speaking is an old time luxury.

That town is Queefiesta, population 166.  The name is Spanish for “Wind Party”.  It has three streets, two pubs, and a sheriff’s office with a sign on the door that reads : “No quiermos pinche gringos aqui”.  “We don’t want any f**King white people here.”

Queefiesta is endemic of a growing border problem that the United States is having, with hundreds of thousands of illegal aliens crossing the border every year.  If they apply for asylum, whether it be for physical or mental abuse, or for extreme poverty, they’re given a court date, and set free to wander.  And rob.  And steal.  And perhaps even murder.

Sandra Batt of the World Refugee Alliance Club explained more as she dug into a delicious taco bell crunch wrap in Washington.

“This town doesn’t exist.  I mean, ‘Queefiesta’ isn’t even a word in Spanish, English, or anything else.  People escaping terrible realities in their country isn’t an ‘invasion’ any more than you moving to Arkansas is.  I mean, come on people.”

Regardless of what Batt told us, we’ve sent three journalists to the location of the town last given to us by an inside mole, and are happy to report that all of them are currently picking lettuce for a lovely produce conglomerate.