Wakanda Demands U.N. Send Troops to Protect BLM Protesters

As the richest and most technologically advanced nation in Africa, Wakanda has an enormous amount of authority regarding the workings and actions taken by the United Nations.  The country, which happens to be home to nearly seventy million black citizens also counts itself as a major trading partner with the United States, but has openly railed against the policies of *President Trump, whom they have referred to as “A fat and stupid warthog, defecating a path across America.”

Now, thanks to a request that went through the State Department via a group of Obama holdovers, the Black Lives Matter movement has requested aid from the UN due to Trump’s recent decision to dispatch military force on his own country’s citizens.   Wakanda has heard the call, and petitioned the international coalition to send in peacekeeping troops to provide safety from what all agree is an authoritarian abuse of authority.

Joe Barron, spokesman for King T’Challa of the nation, released a brief statement regarding the response.

“If Trump wishes to threaten the brothers and sisters of Wakanda and disrespect the royalty of the country and the sacred continent, we can only respond with devastating force.  He is the kind of prancing idiot dictator that once plagued our Africa, and now plagues your America, and we will not wait for the dumber potatoes of your people to come to whatever senses they have.  It is the time to strike like a panther, not bow to a fat pig.”

The UN’s Security Council will meet to vote on the proposed action tomorrow in an emergency session, but with the weight of Wakanda behind it, most experts agree that we may soon be seeing those colorful helmets of U.N. troops on our television news.   It appears that Black Lives Matter have some powerful friends in high places.  And that spells trouble for Trump with a capital “T”.