How young is too young for love? If you ask anyone who doesn’t live in the state of Alabama, the answer would definitely be sixteen.
Superstar Matthew McConaughey doesn’t care much what people think, however. After reading about his liberal chum Leonardo DiCaprio being romantically involved with a 19 year old chippie, he’s upping the game by wooing Dafne Keen Fernandez, the underage star of “Logan”.
Dafne’s parents are livid about the affair, and had a few choice words for McConaughey after Alyssa Milano’s legendary Grammys after-party last month.
“We think it’s disgusting is what we think,” said mother Sandy Batt, a professional root-cellar organizer in Queefberry, Oklahoma. “The man is grown up and doesn’t need our daughter to decorate his career.”
The two were spotted recently at the Bennigan’s eatery in her home town, with the 53-year old McConaughey engaged in a game of tabletop Pac Man with his young tryst-mate.
“They gonna get married when she turns 18,” opined the girls father, Cockamamie Batt, a turpentine factory employee. “They have to now or I’m gonna make his stupid face all right all right all right. By beatin’ in the left side.”
McConaughey has not yet responded to demands for an interview, and the age of consent in Oklahoma is 16 due to it being completely red. I guess we’ll just have to watch these lovebirds bloom.
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