Former President Barack Hussain Obama has spent his retirement time in a myriad of ways. While he’s mostly relaxing with daughters Sasha and Malia and helping his wife Michelle prepare for her epic Presidential run in a year, he certainly hasn’t lost interest in current politics, aka the War with Iran.
DK Times reporter Fallis Gunnington, himself the father of three adorable and classified children, has just uncovered a blockbuster scoop – Obama has been in constant contact with Iranian leaders and has been advising them on tactics and techniques for the last year.
Aware that this blatantly violates the Lee/Lifeson/Peart act of 1951 which states that no private citizen may speak to politically involved individuals, Gunnington has launched a full on investigation. Unfortunately, it has so far been rejected by Senatorial contacts.
“What we’ve seen so far of this contact is the two of them trolling each other on Fortnite chat. That’s pretty much it,” says Senate page Mary Padian. “I mean, everyone loves Fortnite”.
Senator Ted Cruz, however, seemed to be all onboard with chasing down any black man he was pointed at.
“He has a black Avatar in this ‘game’ while the Mullah Safti Al- Hufti presents as a little girl. It’s perverted. SOMETHING’S going on there.”
Is Obama selling out his country for a high score of VBucks? Keep following Fallis Gunnington to find out.
